I Got Pregnant with a Paragard IUD: My Miscarriage Story as an OB Nurse
Trigger warning: miscarriage
As an OB nurse and nurse-midwife with decades of obstetric experience, I’ve unfortunately cared for dozens of patients experiencing pregnancy loss. But nothing prepared me for experiencing a miscarriage as a nurse myself, especially with a Paragard IUD. This is my personal story of grief, uncertainty, and navigating the healthcare system from the other side of the bed
This information should not be considered medical advice. If you think you may be pregnant with an IUD or are experiencing concerning symptoms, please seek care from your healthcare provider.
My Pregnancy with a Paragard Story
When life throws the unexpected at you, it can feel isolating, even when you work in healthcare. A miscarriage is a painful phenomenon. Grief always is. There’s no twelve-week leave, no public funeral. It feels like walking barefoot in a fog.
Many nurses don’t talk about miscarriage as a healthcare professional, but it’s a reality some of us face. And for nurses, managing personal trauma while continuing to care for others can make the pain feel invisible.
Celebrations like graduations or the arrival of a new baby are easy to share publicly. Miscarriage, however, is quietly endured. Even with an incredibly supportive network, I walked this journey alone, carrying fear and grief silently.
Experiencing Miscarriage While Working as a Nurse
One evening after a long day in the clinic, my husband and I planned to go out while my best friend watched our toddler. I never worried about birth control because I had a copper Paragard IUD, which has a failure rate of less than 1% per year—comparable to tubal sterilization.
But my period had lasted twelve days, with brown bleeding and unusual left-sided pelvic cramping. Deep down, I knew something was wrong. I took a home pregnancy test.
The timer slowly ticked. I assumed it would be negative. But before hopping in the tub, I glanced at the laminate countertop. In bold black letters, it shouted: PREGNANT.
I froze. Pulled on my clothes and sat on the floor in shock. Minutes later, I had to stand and tell my husband. We dropped our toddler off and drove to the emergency department.
Navigating an Ectopic Pregnancy as an OB Nurse
I explained my symptoms: I had an IUD, twelve days of bleeding, cramping, and a positive pregnancy test. “I’m pretty sure I am experiencing an ectopic pregnancy,” I told the nurse.
She looked at me and questioned, “Nurse?” I nodded, “Midwife.”
The staff quickly guided us to a private bay. After drawing a rainbow of lab tubes, it was time for the ultrasound.
The ultrasound technician pressed repeatedly, and my heart sank. With eyes averted and keys tapped quietly, I knew there was no good news.
The ER physician diagnosed a presumed ectopic pregnancy, likely in my left fallopian tube. This is the most common site for ectopic pregnancies, the tubes between the uterus and the ovaries. My bloodwork confirmed pregnancy, but there was no definitive answer: ectopic or intrauterine.
Pregnant with a Paragard: Holding Out Hope
Two days later, we saw my obstetrician and had the IUD removed. Based on my last menstrual period, I was six weeks and three days pregnant. Ultrasound still could not conclusively locate the pregnancy.
The next day, hCG levels began to drop. My body was in flux. For ten days, I experienced intense, unpredictable pain—pain so severe I was on my hands and knees, screaming. As a nurse, I understood what was happening medically, but understanding does not lessen the emotional or physical trauma.
Facing Grief and Isolation
Even in healthcare, miscarriage is silent. There’s no formal recognition, no societal acknowledgment. People say, “You could try again” or “You already have enough kids.” But I wanted that baby.
Being pregnant when actively trying to prevent pregnancy is confusing. I felt guilt, shame, and fear—even as a nurse. I cried at inopportune times. The grief lingered, unspoken.
As I walked the sterile hospital hallways, I noticed glowing signs of pregnancy everywhere. The lab technician cheerfully shared his wife’s pregnancy milestones. I smiled faintly, blinking back tears, feeling the isolation of my loss acutely.
My grandfather once said:
“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built, or a pair of shoes made. Something your hand touched in some way, so your soul has somewhere to go when he dies. It doesn’t matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away.”
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
This resonates with nurses who have experienced personal loss. We carry what’s gone inside us, but it changes how we move forward—how we care for ourselves and others.
The Emotional Impact of Pregnancy Loss in Healthcare Professionals
I am one of the “lucky” ones. My ectopic miscarriage resolved without surgery. My tubes were intact. But “lucky” doesn’t erase grief. It doesn’t erase the guilt or the yearning for a baby lost.
Being an OB nurse doesn’t make you immune to the fear and isolation of a pregnancy loss.
Even now, the grief strikes unexpectedly. It’s a reminder: nurses, despite our skills, experience trauma, loss, and burnout just like anyone else. And our jobs demand we care for others while managing our own pain.
Sharing this story is part of recovery. It’s a reminder that:
- Grief is valid.
- Processing trauma is essential.
- Emotional well-being is professional and personal self-care.
Symptoms of a Miscarriage with an IUD
If you’re here because you suspect you might be pregnant with an IUD, some early signs include:
- Irregular light-to-moderate brown bleeding
- Cramping on one side of the lower pelvis
- Positive home pregnancy test
These symptoms could indicate an ectopic pregnancy, a miscarriage, or a live pregnancy with a Paragard. Seek medical care immediately.
As nurses, we often rely on our knowledge to assess symptoms—but even professionals are not immune to the fear and uncertainty that comes with pregnancy complications.
Final Thoughts
Even though my hCG levels eventually normalized and our family continued to grow, the experience left an indelible mark. The lessons of grief, resilience, and self-compassion continue to guide me personally and professionally.
Sharing my experience is meant to help other nurses understand what it’s like to have an ectopic pregnancy as a nurse. If you’re a nurse navigating personal loss, miscarriage, or burnout, know that you are not alone. Your experience is real, your grief is valid, and your self-care is essential. Healing doesn’t follow a schedule, but acknowledging your pain is the first step toward recovery.
Have you experienced miscarriage or personal trauma as a nurse? Share your story, reach out to a colleague, or find support. Together, we can create a healthcare culture that acknowledges loss, supports recovery, and values the emotional well-being of every nurse.
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